Break Time Comedian Gifts

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Bed Seasons

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"Take me home now!"

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

"Read it again, Daddy!"

Astronaut plants flag and deflates the moon.

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Mind if I read a little?"

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Menage a Paws.

"Perhaps you'd be able to sleep better if you pajamas weren't so loud."

"I slept funny!"

Trapeze artists commuting

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

Need a Lawyer?

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

Brrr...for the last time! Keep your cold feet on your side of the bed!

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

Bureau of Hospital Nursing - Be Back At IV.