Bratwurst Buff Gifts

'Will you get me those healthy eating booklets form the hospital? . . . I need something to start the fire to grill these bratwursts.'

A Good Batch.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

The Alpha Seltzer

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Beanirrito"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Baking

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Better Not Squash.

'Can I have flies with that'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

French horn.

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

National Coffee Day

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'Who's the new guy?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'You've had enough.'

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."