Bravado Buff Gifts

Headless chicken: "Is that all you got?"

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'So then I said to the cop...I'd like to see you try it!'

'Tough guy, eh? Want to step outside?'

Joe's Bar: Your money back if you think you're man enough!

Choose you battles

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Beanirrito"

"Be creative...!"

'Oh Hi!'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

I fart more than that!

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

French horn.

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

"You'll like this place. Everything's pre-chewed."

A centi-stampede.

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

Arturo Sandoval

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

"This is a blind audition, right?"