Bistro Buff Gifts

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

'I hate making decisions - just bring me a bottle of each.'

'There's a fly in my soup.' - 'And a maggot in my steak tartare.'

'Todays special is yesterdays left overs.'

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

"I eat here all the time so I can be a regular."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'...and was your 5th mouthful to monsieur's satisfaction?'

'We should have the matter of this evening's wine selection determined shortly.'

"Can I pay you after I get my tax refund?"

A Good Batch.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'Now here's a place I like!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

The Alpha Seltzer

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Beanirrito"

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Baking

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

A dog at the bakery.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Surreal ale

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Can I have flies with that'

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling