Restaurant Buff Gifts

"Chef Joe is ready to turn the seafood loose now."

TGI Doomsday.

A Good Batch.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

The Alpha Seltzer

'Now here's a place I like!'

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Surreal ale

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

'Can I have flies with that'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

National Coffee Day

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'