Brainy Banterers Gifts

The world of Freudian slips...

"I think these "smart pills" are overpriced."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

Musical Accidents

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

"Any chance of some credit?"

'But when you decided to go into psychology didn't you REALIZE that you'd be ‘surrounded by idiots'?'

'And so, you can see from the books behind me that I am not an ignoramus, as some of my political opponents claim.'

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

'Did someone forget to circle before dinner.'

'Well, if you need me to put it into 'layman's terms' maybe you should be talking to someone with a lower IQ.'

'You have inflammation in both eyes but as far as I can see, there's no information behind them.'

"I've got what it takes to take what you've got."

"Hi you're on my brain"

'Think fast!'

"Do you believe fish is brain food?"

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"

"Now they'll never know who's on first."

'If dodos are extinct, how do you explain our foreign policy?'

"And to think I gave Man such a large brain to serve as a heat radiator."

"You don't either have a previous engagement!"

"How the plastic surgery coming along?"