Brainy Banterers Pillows

The world of Freudian slips...

"I think these "smart pills" are overpriced."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

Musical Accidents

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

"Any chance of some credit?"

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

David Letterman

'But when you decided to go into psychology didn't you REALIZE that you'd be ‘surrounded by idiots'?'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

Dr.Phil McGraw

'And so, you can see from the books behind me that I am not an ignoramus, as some of my political opponents claim.'

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

'Did someone forget to circle before dinner.'

'Well, if you need me to put it into 'layman's terms' maybe you should be talking to someone with a lower IQ.'

'You have inflammation in both eyes but as far as I can see, there's no information behind them.'

"I've got what it takes to take what you've got."

"Now they'll never know who's on first."

'Think fast!'

"Hi you're on my brain"

"Do you believe fish is brain food?"

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"

'If dodos are extinct, how do you explain our foreign policy?'

Albert Einstein, in his later years, was unable to figure out why, if he was so smart and so famous, he wasn't rich.

"And to think I gave Man such a large brain to serve as a heat radiator."