Brainy Jokesters Pillows

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

Broad Minded

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

The Scientist

How do bright women get pregnant?

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

Calculator Jokes

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

European Thinkers (2): 'Surf's up!'

"About 77,000 years ago the human lineage split into two branches. Homo sapiens sapiens and Homo stupidicus dumbelsii."

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.

Everything was fine until Becky's little sister decided to skip double.

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

"Enjoying a sudden decrease in vision and hearing, are we, Horndog? Well, guess who's enjoying a headache!"

'Your car keys are under the sofa, and you like to wear women's shoes.'

Downloading personal items on the company laptop.

"The Man Who Knew Enough"

Man lies online saying that he is not married and his wife hits him over the head with her rolling pin.

Night Deposit.