Boozy Banterers Pillows

'If dodos are extinct, how do you explain our foreign policy?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"Sipsies?"

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

'You've had enough!'

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

Musical Accidents

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."

'They must be trash fish!'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

The world of Freudian slips...

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

"We met in the Galapagos."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"I hear alcohol slows reactions..."

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

'Stop me when I start extolling the virtues of socialism.'

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

"I'm saving my abstinence for marriage."

"I'd feel a lot better if I had $41,568,946 in my checking account."

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

"Plus cute. Did I mention extremely cute, for a fusion chef?"

"It's the big guy."

'While I was in the rat race, my wife ran off with a mouse!'

"What are we actually celebrating here tonight?"

"Don’t look at me. You’re the one who brought him the newspaper."