Bowling Green Gladiator Gifts

'The grudge match.'

Prize vegetables.

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

Football.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

Human males marking territory.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

Football Blockers.

'Gentlemen--- choose your Pistils!' THE DUEL OF THE FLORISTS.

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'