Bored Office Buddy Gifts

Office man using his desk organizers to play golf.

'What's wrong now?'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Bureau of the Damned

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

'In a sentence or two, Gibbs.'

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

'A word in my office Jones.'

Casual Friday at the Zoo. Penguins.

"I'm going in."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"

"My appraisal says disappointing..." "But with a smiley face!"