Bored Office Buddy Gifts

Office man using his desk organizers to play golf.

'What's wrong now?'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Bureau of the Damned

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

'In a sentence or two, Gibbs.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

'A word in my office Jones.'

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"

"I'm going in."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"My appraisal says disappointing..." "But with a smiley face!"

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'