Bored Boardroom Buddy Gifts

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

Pie Charts, Inc.

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"