Boardroom Buddy Seeker Gifts

Lonely At The Top - Computer Dating for CEOs.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."