Bored Date Survivor Gifts

"Do you have ANYTHING that will help me survive another 2 hours of him droning on about football, cars and his ex-relationship?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

In Desperate Straits.

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"Hold your questions until I've talked so long no one knows or cares what you're asking about."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'Jack, you're being way too entertaining. This is supposed to be a bored meeting.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Dunhomin"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

Tunnel of lurve

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

The Meeting: Day Four

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

'Something tells me we are NOT on the same page.'

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

'No, everything is not all right. My date ran out without leaving money to pay the bill!'

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"