Blind Date Survivor Gifts

'Okay, I admit the photo I sent you wasn't that recent, and I'm not really a male model. But everything else is true!'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

'Your blind date reminded you of a TV star?, 'Yeah -- I think he was wearing Columbo's raincoat.'

'That's the last time I go on a blind date — her stupid seeing-eye dog bit me!'

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

"Let me guess. My blind date couldn't make it, so he sent his Dad instead?"

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Tunnel of lurve

"I guess I misunderstood when you said you were a 'fan dancer.'"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"I've always been attracted to small architectural details."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Dan, Carla's interests include brooding over failed relationships and fending off her mother's pleas for grandchildren. Carla, Dan is terrified of commitment and has a negative bank balance."

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

Are you sure that's not your age?

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'