Booze Buff Gifts

The Conveyance of a Corkscrew Hand

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Wine tasting for beginners

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

'I'm having what he's having.'

Fallen Angel.

'You drink like a fish.'

The Piss Artist

Joe's Bar - We sell no wine before it's opening time!

'I picked up an interesting sounding wine to go with the roast. Have any of you folks ever heard of Kahlua?'

"Hmm, this cheeky little red just stamped on my toes, poked me in the eye, kicked me in the nuts and said 'get a life, you sad git'."

"I'll check again but I'm pretty sure drinking all day isn't one of the activities."

The Wine Buff

Wine of the Day Club

A Good Batch.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

We'll have Manhattans...

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

The Alpha Seltzer

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Shaken not stirred

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'We'll take it!'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'