Booze Buddy Gifts

"I think Ted's keel's snapped off"

'A pint! Have you got any ID?'

"Actually I've made a pretty good career out of not having a brain."

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

"We're running an intervention on you, Jack, but if you'll buy us a drink we'll forget about it."

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'

'Stuart was finally proved right - the birds can't resist him.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'This beer is awful. I'll be glad when I've had enough.'

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

We'll have Manhattans...

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'I know it's gassy...'

Shaken not stirred

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'