Boomer Banterer Pillows

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"Sipsies?"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'You've had enough!'

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

"Bono is nice, and Bono cares, but I really dig Barry Manilow."

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

'Stop me when I start extolling the virtues of socialism.'

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

"It's the big guy."

Global Warming: American BBQ.

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the breakroom.'

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

"You're welcome to visit my internet site, but not my apartment."

"My business model is the same as my drinking model."

"If I switched to decaf, I'd lose my edge around the water cooler."

'I stand corrected...things can get worse.'

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"