Boomer Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Son, everyone went to college in the sixties - there was a war going on."

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

Chavez makes sacrifice.

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

Putin's Statement on Aid Convoy Attack...

"Avocado...t-toast..."

'You are always living in the past!'

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

Obama Bucks

"It's the Florida kid."

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

"I'm finally at a point where I learned I don't need to please my nutritionist and trainer."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"Hello. We're from the Government, and we mean you no harm."

'The government should never have put fluoride in the water.'

Top 10 signs you're getting older...

'How can I put this... My bladder is not what you'd call a 'control freak'.'

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

'I wish I looked more attractive.'

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

'That's interesting -- if you adjust for inflation, we're upper middle class.'

Oh, my god, I'm starting to look like my mother.

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"