Retirement Humor Appreciators Pillows

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"That's not what I meant when I suggested rocking on the porch, Mr. Clampwell."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

When scientists come out of retirement.

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'This IS our retirement plan.'

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"My bottom went to sleep."

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

Old fly...retirement home.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

"I've given up the ghost"

'What did they give you - a gold watch or a cheque?'

'My Dad just retired, and now he wants me to give him an allowance.'

'You're retired, Rufus. No more sniffing out drugs, remember?'

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

Oh, my god, I'm starting to look like my mother.

'The Ladies Home Auxiliary claims responsibility.'

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"