Retirement Humor Pillows

Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

"My bottom went to sleep."

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'This IS our retirement plan.'

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

Bear Market

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

Old fly...retirement home.

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

Mountain has tunnel called Carpal Tunnel.

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

'What did they give you - a gold watch or a cheque?'

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

"Sorry 008, nothing for you again..."