Book Therapist Gifts

Open Book Therapy

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'I hate Mondays.'

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Dr. Kapuchnik, I feel like there are powerful, sinister, unseen forces conspiring to do me harm, even though I haven't done anything wrong. Does this condition have a name? It's called April 15th, Al. Tax day.

Psychiatry in the Park

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

Fiction. Mystery. History.

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

I understand you've been feeling ignored lately – You just need to get out there and mingle.

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Locking Up Crime

'My rates vary - how sane do you want to get?'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

Stopping Time in order to Finish Book

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

"I like everything you suggest, except for the part where you count to three to wake me up. Can we just skip that part?"

'What magnificent whiskers My wife would never let me grow anything like THAT'

"Where's your section of books that tell you simple things you already know?"

"It's my 39th birthday, and I'm not dealing with it well. What's wrong with me?"

"Is it possible you have a desire to get caught?"

Mystery and suspense at the library.

"That book is kept downstairs in the Big Secret Important Book Room."