Book Keeper Gifts

'Here, we switched accountants.'

'Short of funds again?' - 'Yes, thank goodness we're not one of our creditors.'

Lord of the Flies with the Accountant of the Flies.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

Pointing.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Sheep Ledger

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Your night writing book, madam.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

Accountant Manqué

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Dear Dairy

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

Records?

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."