Book Keeper Gifts

'Here, we switched accountants.'

'Short of funds again?' - 'Yes, thank goodness we're not one of our creditors.'

Lord of the Flies with the Accountant of the Flies.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

Pointing.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Sheep Ledger

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Your night writing book, madam.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Accountant Manqué

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

Records?

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'