Boo-tiful Joker Pillows

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Adult Absence Notes.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

Grandad and grandson sticking out their tongues.

Valentine Comix

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

'This milk smells funny.'

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

Little schoolboy enjoys picking his nose.

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

'Can't we have a valentine party without girls?'

"I'm afraid you've got Sea Monkey pox."

Brendan suddenly realizes it was a mistake posting 'Susan, will you marry me?' to the stadium's jumble tron.