Bonus Gifts

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'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

The man who finally got his account in the black

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'Such a small bonus.'

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

He must have given Johnson a rise - he just did a back-flip.

Will work for humongous bonus.

The Evolution of the Bonus

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts? The age-old question: Do I enjoy the fruits of my labor or give them to the losers and ingrates who did absolutely nothing to earn them? Fly yourself to Maui and send them a photo of you eating a seven-course meal. That'll encourage them to work harder and earn their own bonuses. Encouragement is the best gift you can give. I really love your show,

Footballer's Wages