Bonus Time Gifts

'It must be bonus-time again.'

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

loan

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"Will my bonus look big in this?"

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'I'd like a job where I'm hated for having obscene amounts of money.'

The man who finally got his account in the black

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

"If I don't get a bonus from my bank, I'll quit and flip burgers!"

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."