Bonus Beneficiary Gifts

"It's so totally lame lame how much tax you have to pay on the bonuses you give yourself."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

loan

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

"Will my bonus look big in this?"

"It was a mixed dayon wall street. Stocks were down, but bonuses were up."

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'