Bone Mender T-Shirts

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Analyst and patient

Broken Heart

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'