Bodyguards Gifts

'Believe me, sir! My wife's steaks are the best bullet proof vests ever!'

"Operation Controlled Crying, Day 730."

'The President eats out'

"Sorry dude, you can't seek Police-protection at Christmas time: Even the Police canteen has turkey on the menu..."

"He likes it."

High security Santa's grotto

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Where was the TSA?'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I need to know who started it."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"I'll take this one."

Moulin Rouge Security

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

Slow Night

Scarecrows guarding a field

Saved...life is good!

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

Lighthouse Hammock.

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"