Bodyguard Enthusiast Gifts

A hard looking dog enters the Bodyguard school

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"He's a guard dog."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Grass huggers.

"It's the Coast Guard - they want to know how many life-jackets we have onboard."

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

Restraining orders from the stars.

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

"Hey, great ab!"

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

'He's feeling very proud of himself. He went to watchdog school and graduated 'Magna cum loudly.''

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

'Careful,George.You know how it makes you sick when you travel backwards.'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'It's a great country kid, anyone can grow up to be security to the president.'

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

Football Security

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

I took up antkeeping.

Did our request for different safety hats get approval?

"I was about your age when I, too, started having security concerns."

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

'...perhaps it is rather tempting fate.'

Guarded optimism.

"Except moles, madam."

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

Safe sex is not making love with your helmet on.

"Security?! Really?! You're a disgrace Bob!"

'It's just a laser pointer, Mr. President. It's not a little mouse. Don't let people distract you with these things...Mr. President?..Hello!?'

"Your first summit?"

"Larry picks up a couple of PowerPoint Guards at the trade deadline."