Lifeguards Gifts

"I think she's drowning! I'm going to give mouth to mouth resuscitation!"

'Oh no! A Portuguese Man of War.'

Ambulance.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Baby on board.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Swimming Prankster

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

Saved...life is good!

"It's trickle down."

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

S.P.F. 1,000

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Lifesaver!

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

I told you not to swim out to far