Guarding Aficionado Gifts

"He's a guard dog."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Golfing Boss

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

The Origami Society...

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

The Lawman

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"Ya know, dad...I get to pretend I'm a superhero because of real heroes like you."

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'Don't mind him, he gets that way every Opening Day when I tell him he can't have a gun.'

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

"Henry took a shower yesterday right next to Winthrop Rockefeller."

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

Army Man Playset 2020

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"Just imagine the hold is world peace and the sand traps are nuclear Armageddon and the club is your ability to deal calmly and rationally with complex situations."