Body Positivity Booster Gifts

#1 Midriff

"This is the last time I cut down such an old tree to help you feel good about your body."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"Privates Beach"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Critisize your weight.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

Breast Height Chart

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Aging Problems

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Fat fairy

Girl's weight issues.

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'