Body Positivity Promoter Gifts

'Doctor, I think they switched my results - this letter I received says I have dense breasts, but wouldn't that mean they'd be perkier - at least above my belly button?'

'My therapist says I'm not a pig. I have an eating disorder.'

Women's Dressing Room: Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Looks like you put on a few tons since I last saw you.'

Slim Shadow

T-shirt sizes: XXL, XXXL and Totally Given Up

Stick insect's Body Mass Index

Saline Dion.

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

Publicise your weight machine

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'I'm no good at push ups.'

"Why is it that the person using the seat belt before me is always thinner than I am?"

'Really, you've put on two kilos? Well, it doesn't show...'

'If you could get your weight to just shift a tad bit lower you'd be all set.'

I suggest you get rid of that paunch! It's not a paunch, it's a big double chin!

Videos. I'd like to exchange this exercise and diet video for one on self-acceptance.

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

"I just saw myself in the mirror naked and I look like hell. How about a nice compliment to lift my spirits."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Privates Beach"

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Critisize your weight.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Breast Height Chart

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'