Body Positive Gifts

"Carl's sixpack's turned into a keg."

'I had no idea that a 'Low-Fat' diet meant the fat would only go to the lower part of my body.'

"The guy who wants to be my boyfriend has the body of a god - buddha."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

Critisize your weight.

"Privates Beach"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

Breast Height Chart

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Aging Problems

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Fat fairy

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Girl's weight issues.