Boast Lovers Pillows

"Ed has his own trophy manufacturing business."

Powerful Love.

Joined at the hipster.

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

"I haven't been here that long—I'm just a huge ZZ Top fan."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"The thing of it is I don't even fish!"

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

'Here it is, Your cellphone.'

"And, of course all our rockets come with a three second warranty."

'What did you find in your soup?'

"You had me at pumpkin."

'Thank you for your unsolicited parenting advice! In return, I'd like to tell you about a method I know for removing those unsightly age spots.'

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

Johannes Brahms.

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

"It's a niche movie. Then there's a car chase, and – bam – mass market."

Walrus Grooming.

"You're not a goat person?"

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

Wanting to get into the novelty business, Gerald started off small with his 'Beard of Bee.'

"I'm not at all convinced by Santa's new hipster look."

Man commenting on his liking for the continent

Man claims to be a good swimmer so lady asks him to jump in the river and fetch a flower

Approachable

'You are neither tattooed, nor pierced, or have facial hair - how creative can you be?'

"A hipster beard AND a top-knot! - no wonder you've been sent here...!"