Bold Boasters Pillows

Man claims to be a good swimmer so lady asks him to jump in the river and fetch a flower

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

"The thing of it is I don't even fish!"

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

Fortune Favours the Brave

"You must be the demolition team."

'You want to report your wife missing?Wouldn't we all, sir-wouldn't we all!!'

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

'This should come out just right.'

'I move to have all charges, against my client, dismissed. he's paying me handsomely to defend him and he expects me to make a bold move like that.'

Fish with a hook tells a good tale.

'Have you considered short-term treasury's?'

"Hi. First time, long time. Second marriage, second mortgage. Forty years old, forty pounds overweight. No question - I just like talking about myself."

'OK, one quick picture... but then I should probably get him to a hospital.'

"I know - let's make a programme about people's complaints about our bloody awful programmes...!!"

The Skeptics' Association.

"I heard Ralphie blows out his car speakers every three weeks."

I hear you're an atheist now. It's the thing to be. What about me? What about you? I have the power to destroy you. So. I am your god! Rethinking position.

"Remember, if anyone asks, we say we wear these fantastic outfits because they're aerodynamic."

Woman bragging about her big fish, husband with small fish.

"Ed has his own trophy manufacturing business."

Priest reading 'The Joy of Sects'.

'I got that one for getting this one.'

'That's what I call macho. . .That's George. Jogging home from his vasectomy.'

Human Cull: People who think marriage and parenthood is the only measure of success.

I don't believe in god. So you're atheist or agnostic? Huh? You're certain there's no god or you're not sure? HOJ. I'm not sure. You're not sure about my question or if there's a god? O' lord, why do you torment me?! Adding further confusion.