Boasting Champion Pillows

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Leadership suits you

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Alarmistclock

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'Huh. Where'd all my birthday decorations go???'

First Prize!

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"Boo hoo, I missed my targets - what's the worst he can do?"

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

Bob hated working over-time.

Larry's binge drinking, though annoying, started a terrific domino party tradition....

A woman's work is never done.

Step out-- speak up

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

"Your wife might be a brilliant cook, but my wife orders the world's best pizza!"

'You were right...my self esteem just went up 60%.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'This should come out just right.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

"Since I never accepted any more challenges after my win against the hare, I remain undefeated..."

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'