Boasting Champion Pillows

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Leadership suits you

Alarmistclock

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

First Prize!

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

Bob hated working over-time.

Larry's binge drinking, though annoying, started a terrific domino party tradition....

A woman's work is never done.

Step out-- speak up

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'

'Didn't you remove the bird before washing the cage?'

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

'This should come out just right.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"Since I never accepted any more challenges after my win against the hare, I remain undefeated..."

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"Your wife might be a brilliant cook, but my wife orders the world's best pizza!"

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

'You were right...my self esteem just went up 60%.'