Boardroom Buccaneer Gifts

Corporate pirate.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

Acme Toys Ltd

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

'First of all I'm sorry. Secondly I'd like to clarify what I meant by 'never apologize, never explain'.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

'Let me present today's speaker.'

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'