Boardroom Barbarian Gifts

'You must be Parsloe. There's been an unfriendly takeover while you were out.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'Dog eat dog.'

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

Acme Toys Ltd

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

Pie Charts, Inc.

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."