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Meet the Bookjacket Blurb Author

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Filling the Missile Gap

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

Blend Schools

The Real Russian history

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Baby with straw to eat out of bib.

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"I was able to get you a 2-book deal."

Best Sellers; Worst Sellers.

Stinging Bee

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

Ezra Pound

Editor

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

Art is a cruel mistress.

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

'Put them there because we can't figure why they're successful!'

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

Beehive

The Empty Nest Blues: "The 'frig is full of goodies, The house has extra space, We do whatever we feel like, any time or place."

'I've got those, 'No money left for whisky and women because my cattle futures options expired out of the money' blues...'