Critique Enthusiasts T-Shirts

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Filling the Missile Gap

Final words on gravestones.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

The Real Russian history

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Rodin's Irish Judge

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

Nutty Assistants

Editor

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"I just love your use of lying"

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

Art is a cruel mistress.

"They learn how to say 'Gracias' and we're supposed to be thankful."

If you want to get big as a radio host, you've got to differentiate yourself from all the other mean, insulting critics. I have a plan. You need to start being nice. That way, you'll really surprise people when you turn on them. That's the stupidest @#$% Idea I've ever heard, you muscle-bound ape! It needs work. Damn. What if I retract the muscle-bound part?

Bertrand Russell

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

Ezra Pound