Blurb Aficionado Gifts

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Algorithm 'n' Blues

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"Outré or simply bad?"

Corporate Darwinism

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

'You're no Pollock.'

Blind mammal Johnson....part animal, all blues man!

Larry King

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

Robert Johnson.

Slim, a blues guitarist, was taking his meds again.

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

"Is this 'pollocks'."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

Leisure Editor

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.