Abstract Aficionado Gifts

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

"I've been reading the trashiest scientific abstract."

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'The ailing matisse tries cutting out meat and diary products'

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

"What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical."

Self-portraits

"What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical."

'What do you do for a living?'

'I know the artist has to suffer, but why should I?'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Blockbuster Art Show.

'Yes, but is it art?'

Man in a modern art gallery, stopped at window.

'It's the poor paint I feel sorry for!'

Millais - Cubist Period

"It's called 'White with a hint of Magnolia"

'What are you looking at?'

1909 - Pablo Picasso started wearing contact lenses but would never admit they were useless.

"I have a piece of wall art that you might like."

"I got the idea when I accidentally dropped a tin of paint on a canvas, and some idiot offered me £5,000 for it!"

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"Don't overthink it."

"I suffer for my art..."

"Is this 'pollocks'."

Michelangelo's Creation of Adam

"This would look great on out wall. . . when it's finished!"

"This is my first real painting! I painted it with my soul!"

Abstract painter

"Look I could understand if it was a Rothko or Jackson Pollock!"

'That look....wherever I stand...It keeps following me around.'

'Abstract Expressionism? No, my son's bedroom!'