Blame Artist Gifts

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

My daddy ate my homework

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

Scapegoat: In case of emergency