Blame Games Gifts

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"