Blame Game Expert Gifts

'Fortunately, there wasn't enough blame to go around. It stopped before it got to me.'

'Why can't you take responsibility for your own actions?', 'I blame my upbringing.'

There's no heavy lifting with this junior executive position, but with all the blame you'll be shouldering, you'll need a strong back.

"I've solved the problems by firing a part time employee in the mail room."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

"A 'take charge' guy would be nice but I'm looking for more of the 'take blame' type."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'