Blame Game Participant Gifts

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'