Blame Enthusiast Gifts

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'The best thing about teamwork is I can claim anything that goes wrong was out of my hands.'

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'