Blame Master Gifts

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

"Today, Trump blamed Obama, Syria blamed terrorists, Russia blamed US aggression, the US blamed Putin..."

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

'Don't even think about it: I won't be the scapegoat again!'

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'